dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
