I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
