I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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