Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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