Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
