I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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