help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
