I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
