Do you still have your period?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
