it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
