O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
