I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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