You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
