We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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