Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
