Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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