is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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