Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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