sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
