I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
