I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
