dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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