I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
