Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
