"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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