i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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