I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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