I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
