im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
