I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
