Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
