real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
