whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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