he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
