Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
