you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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