maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
