We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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