I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Green mimosas i think yes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
