One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
