So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
