I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
