I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
