i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize