We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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