There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
