dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm at about main and main street
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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