Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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