I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
