I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
