We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
